


rescuing barry allen

by bar_allen



Series: what if barry had surrendered himself? [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt Barry, More tags to be added, Negative Thoughts, Poor Barry, Protective Kara, Protective Oliver, Supportive Kara, Supportive Oliver, everyone loves barry, except cisco for a little bit there, karolivarry??? is that their ship name??? only as friendship tho, the dominators, the dominators in this are nothing like the comics (mainy because i haven't read the invasion comic)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-06 11:36:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8749108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bar_allen/pseuds/bar_allen
Summary: When Cisco vibes Barry on the Dominators ship, the heroes all gather their forces to save their friend from a fate worse than death.





	1. Vibe

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing this because a lot of you guys asked me to continue. (Also because I'm having so much fun with creating my own crossover plot). Enjoy.

A few minutes had passed after the Dominators left the Earth’s atmosphere, but it felt like hours for the heroes. The more time that passed, and the further away the ship went, the more the team could feel what little hope they had left fading away.

Cisco was the first to move. He went to the STAR labs truck- the one where he found the message from future Barry. He realised now that the speedster was gone, that message would probably be erased from existence. He tried not to give that much thought as he couldn’t admit it to himself yet.

He was gathering his equipment when his eyes landed on a jacket on the floor. It was the jacket that Barry was wearing when they travelled to Earth-38 to recruit Supergirl. Barry must have dropped it there when he was changing into his Flash suit, and now it was abandoned. 

At first, Cisco tried to ignore it, but when he saw light coming out of it, he gave it a second look. The light was Barry’s phone ringing. The speedster had forgotten his phone in the jacket’s pocket, and the caller was probably either Joe or Iris. Cisco tried to fight the urge to grab the jacket but he failed. Something was pulling him towards it, some sort of invisible force urging him to pick up Barry’s jacket. But Cisco didn’t have time to contemplate where that impulse came from because the second he touched the piece of fabric, he felt the world darken and suddenly found himself standing inside the aliens’ ship. He looked around and his heart broke as his eyes landed on his friend.

Barry was laying on a hard surface, completely still, his eyes closed, and three aliens were standing around him. Cisco watched as they drew blood from Barry’s arm, then lifted his body and put him inside a pod, similar to the ones Oliver and the others were in. They placed some weird alien tech on his head, then left the room. But before they left, Cisco heard them speak in their alien language. He made sure that he memorised what they said, and took one last look at his friend before his conscious was back in his body.

“Cisco? Cisco!” He turned around to find Supergirl looking at him with concern, the rest of the heroes standing just outside the truck, their faces showing the same concern as Kara's.

While Cisco was vibing, Kara had followed him to the truck to talk about her return to her Earth. When she went inside the truck and called his name, she found him staring at the wall in front of him. She tried to get his attention by calling his name multiple times, but it seemed that his mind was completely out of their world. The others had heard her concerned yells and approached the truck in a hurry to see what was wrong.

“Kara! I… uh.” Cisco didn’t know what to say. The vibe he just had was so overwhelming and he couldn’t shake that image of Barry out of his head.

“Cisco… did you just vibe?” This time it was Felicity who spoke up. Cisco didn’t trust his voice so he nodded.

“Was it about Barry?” Another nod.

“Is he still alive?” And another nod.

“You have to calm down and tell us exactly what you saw.” Oliver joined in the conversation.

Cisco took a deep breath. And another. Then he began telling them about his vibe.

“I saw Barry, he was unconscious but alive. They put him in one of those pods then I heard them talk…” He trailed as he recalled the aliens’ conversation. He looked at Sara who understood what he needed. She led the way to the wave rider, unlocking its door for him. He rushed inside and repeated the aliens’ words as best as he could, and asked Gideon to translate.

“That roughly translates to ‘We can now study the subject’s reaction to mental pain. The next stage will be testing his physical abilities.’. I believe the Dominators have taken Mr Allen in order to test metahumans' behaviour and reaction to torture.” The AI explained.

“But that pod, it showed us everything we’ve dreamt of. How would that be painful to Barry’s mind?” Ray inquired.

“I think their telepathic abilities can work in different ways… Remember how they made most of you go all crazy and murderous?” Cisco pointed out.

“Are you suggesting that they are showing him his worst nightmares?” 

Before Cisco could answer, Kara beat him to it.

“This sounds like something the Dominators would do. When they came to my planet, one of the things they were testing was Kryptonians’ mental strength. They kidnapped a lot of my people and tortured them both physically and mentally. One of their methods was showing you your worst nightmare. Another one was putting you in an ideal life, using your own hopes and dreams against you. They would make everything seem perfect only to rip it away from you in the worst ways possible.”

“Well, we can’t let that happen to Barry. Gideon, find us their location.” Sara asked the AI as she made her way to her seat. Behind her, the rest of the team took the silent hint as each of them made their way to an empty seat and strapped themselves in. All except Oliver.

“I have tracked the ship’s movement and it appears to have stopped just outside the Earth’s atmosphere.”

“Wait! We can’t just fly to their ship and try to save Barry like that. We need to have a plan.” Oliver chided.

“Oliver, we don’t know what they’re doing to Barry right now and we might not know what’s awaiting us if we go right now. But there’s one thing I’m sure of; the longer we wait, the less likely it is that we would find Barry with his mind in one piece.”

“I agree with Sara. Oliver, I know you’ve already been exposed to their mental… tools. But this is different. With you, all they needed to do was distract you. But with Barry, they’re attacking his mind in full force. We have to move now.” Kara affirmed.

“Come on, Oliver. Strap in. We’re going to get Barry back.”


	2. Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the lovely comments and feedback this series has been getting! I would like to apologise for any language mistakes. English isn't my first language and I'm still learning. Anyways, here's chapter 2!

“This is a very bad idea. I know how you all want to save Barry as soon as possible, and trust me, I would do anything to have him back right now. But attacking their ship like that would probably do more harm than good. We need to have a proper plan.” Oliver sighed.

“Oliver’s right. There are hundreds of those things and very few of us. There’s no way we can beat them and rescue Barry if we go now.” Diggle joined in.

“Alright, Robin Hood. If we listen to you, what’s your master plan?” Mick asked.

Oliver rubbed his hands over his face then crossed his arms.

“Well, first, we need to learn about all the ship’s entrances and exits. We need some sort of map of its layout.”

“How would we get that? It’s not like you can just look it up from Google images.”

“That’s why we have superpowers,” Cisco exclaimed, “I think I can vibe the ship and look around, try and map it out.”

“Great. Once we have that, we can start working on a way to get inside. Cisco, you go do your… ‘vibing’ now,” Oliver commanded and Cisco nodded and headed out of the wave rider to find his goggles. Oliver then turned to Nate.

“That thing here that can duplicate any outfit or weapon, can it create some sort of space suits that we can use?”

“Fabrication room. And I don’t see why not. Ray and I can go check, see what we can do.”

Once Nate and Ray were gone, Oliver turned to the rest of the team. Felicity had followed Cisco when he went to find his goggles. She was going to try and find more information using her own superpower; hacking. That left Sara, Amaya, Kara, Mick and Diggle. Both Sara and Kara were annoyed by Oliver, but while Sara understood that he was right and they did need a plan, Kara just wanted to save Barry. Her disapproval was evident on her face, leading Oliver to comment on it.

“Kara, is there something you would like to tell me?”

Kara huffed and looked Oliver in the eyes.

“We have to save Barry.”

“Yes, I know and we will, we just need time to-”

“No! Oliver, you don’t understand. We have to save Barry and sooner rather than later! We don’t have time!”

“Okay, skirt, calm down. What’s gotten you all nerved up?” Mick grunted, clearly unamused by the argument.

“I told you that the Dominators came to my planet,” Supergirl sighed, “I hadn’t been born yet but I was told stories of them, stories about how they looked, what they did, their experiments and tests on my people. From what I understood back then, their tests were not… pleasant. Anyone who was put through them, they’d either come back as lifeless versions of their old selves or just not survive them at all. I even once met some of the people who survived them. They... their eyes… it was like they were empty, completely emotionless. I just don’t want to see that happen to Barry.”

“And it won’t. We won’t let it happen, alright? Now if we want to get to him soon, we need to come up with our plan of attack.” Oliver said, trying to sound more confident than he actually felt.

“Fine. I’ll go see what Cisco’s got.” Kara said then as she was on her way out, Cisco and Felicity came in hurriedly.

“We’ve got it!” Cisco exclaimed as he ran in with his tablet in his hand.

“That was quick.” Mick raised an eyebrow.

“Well, it turns out I didn’t have to vibe that place at all. Felicity pulled some strings and hacked some high-profile places that we won’t speak of and apparently, the government has got full maps and blueprints of the Dominators’ ships. It was a part of the truce or something, the reason why they have them is beyond me.”

“Are they up to date, though?”

“According to records, they are.”

“But can we trust the government’s records? They’re the ones who came up with the deal and got us here in the first place.” Sara pointed out.

“That’s what I thought at first but then remember the alien tech we were trying to hack?” Felicity began, “Curtis managed to find a way to get into it and he found some blueprints but we didn’t understand the language so we left it. Those blueprints match these ones.”

“That still doesn’t sound very trustworthy.” Amaya spoke for the first time since Barry left.

“It doesn’t. But we don’t have much time. We need to come up with the plan, now.” Oliver urged while looking at Kara, who nodded.

After Nate and Ray were done with making the space-suits, and Firestorm and Caitlyn arrived at the Hall of Justice with the device they mass produced to defeat the Dominators, the whole team gathered on the waverider’s bridge to listen to the plan.

The plan was actually rather simple. Ray and Firestorm would attack one of those smaller ships and steal it, which Nate, Amaya and Mick would get on. They would use it to get inside the mothership while Supergirl would fly through one of the entrances. Ray and Firestorm would create a diversion, attacking the ship from the outside to get the Dominators’ attention. Cisco would create a breach which he, Sara and Oliver would use to get straight to the chamber where Barry was held.

After each member learned their roles, they all sprung to action. They began with putting on the space suits and masks that would protect them from the harsh and cold space.

Luckily for them, it turned out that one of the small ships still hadn’t left Earth yet so, with the help of Supergirl, Ray and Firestorm were able to take over it. Nate, Mick and Amaya got inside it and with Kara’s help, they were able to fly it.

The next step was for Ray and Firestorm to distract the Dominators, while Supergirl sneaked in through one of the entrances. The other three Legends were flying the alien ship, waiting for their sign to go in.

Once everyone was in position, the heroes started their rescue mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All feedback is welcome! If you have any ideas, tips, or questions just comment here or you can find me on Twitter: @barthollen :)


	3. Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks for all the lovely feedback, and apologies for any language mistakes, etc. Here's chapter 3 (which is longer than the previous ones, yay!)

Oliver stood inside the waverider as he watched all the other heroes find their way into the aliens’ ship, then looked at Cisco and Sara. The three of them were waiting for Kara to give them the go-ahead for Cisco to open the breach and take them to the ship. They heard the others’ voices come through as their fight with the Dominators began.

Nate, Mick and Amaya got out of the small ship once it landed inside the mothership and started walking around carefully. Their mission was to find the chamber where Barry was held and get rid of the aliens there to clear the place for Cisco’s breach to come through.

They could hear the Dominators’ yelling and saw some rushing away from where they were hiding, and knew that Atom and Firestorm were already creating the diversion they needed.

Once the hallways cleared from the aliens, Amaya touched her totem to draw on the abilities of a dog to gain its strong sense of smell. She began sniffing around till she caught Barry’s scent and signalled for the other two to follow her.

Meanwhile, while the Dominators were distracted by the sudden attack from the two other Legends, Supergirl was able to enter through an opening and once she was in, she began speeding around the ship, placing the device the scientists in STAR labs created on every Dominator she saw, all without being noticed. She could hear the alarms ringing throughout the entire ship and could see Firestorm and Ray outside, throwing blasts at it while dodging ones thrown at them. She prayed that the two would hold their own until she was done placing the small devices.

Outside the ship, Atom and Firestorm were struggling with the blasts coming from the ship. Ray scanned its front in an attempt to find a weak spot and as soon as he did, he looked at Firestorm.

“Cover me!” he yelled. Firestorm nodded immediately and flew in front of the Atom while the latter found the perfect position and aimed at the weak spot. He communicated with the heroes inside to warn them, then fired his blasters.

The others all felt it as the ship shook from the impact, but didn’t let it affect them. They needed to get to Barry soon. The Dominators knew they were under attack because they had Barry and there was a possibility they would kill him before his friends could get to him.

The three Legends inside the ship stopped in front of a door and Amaya placed her hand on it.

“He’s behind this door,”

“Are you sure?” Nate asked.

Amaya nodded, “This is where his scent is leading me.” 

Nate steeled on and smashed his fist into the door, but nothing happened. He tried again, but the door was reinforced with some sort of alien technology that was far stronger than anything humans have ever encountered.

Mick tried burning it down, but that was even more useless than Nate’s punches.

Amaya called on the spirits of every strong animal she could think of, but none of her efforts paid off.

“I think we’re gonna need skirt’s help on this one,” Mick grunted. The other two agreed and turned their comms on.

“Hey, Supergirl, are you there?” Nate called. Their alien friend replied in affirmation.

“We need your help! I think we just found the chamber where Barry is,” Amaya explained, “but the door is too strong for us to break down.”

“I’m almost done with placing the devices! I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Kara’s voice came through.

Amaya sighed as the three Legends stood and waited. But they didn’t have to wait for long because they suddenly found the door of the chamber opening and three aliens walked out of it, a human-sized pod floating behind them. The instant the humans’ eyes landed on the pod, they knew that Barry was inside it. Apparently, the aliens were trying to take him and escape to their planet.

Nate steeled on once more, Amaya called on the animals’ spirits, and Mick smirked as he powered on his heat-gun. Without a second thought, the three Legends attacked the three aliens.

On the other end of the ship, Supergirl placed the last device she had, then flew around the ship once more as fast she could, to find Nate, Amaya and Mick. She took a turn after turn, trying to avoid the Dominators as best as possible. Sometimes, she’d fail at that and would have to throw a few punches here and there.

Finally, she found her friends but not the way she was expecting. She thought she would find them standing, waiting for her to come and smash the door. But what she found was three aliens on the floor, either dead or knocked out, and her new friends standing around a pod.

“What took you so long?” Mick smirked. Kara raised her eyebrows but decided against responding with a snarky comment. Now was not the time for this. She rushed towards the pod then turned her microphone on. First, she told Felicity that all the devices were in place. As soon as she said it, they heard the Dominators’ screams ring throughout the ship and in a way, she was satisfied. She hated feeling like that, but they were hurting her friend.

The next person she talked to was Cisco.

“We’ve got him!”

The metahuman opened a breach as soon as he heard Kara’s words and jumped through, followed by Oliver. Sara stayed on the waverider to pilot it. They also decided that she wasn’t really needed in that fight as much as they thought she would be. It turned out that Supergirl had everything handled; which Sara thought was very hot, but there was no time for that.

Cisco left the breach opened, allowing Amaya, Mick and Nate to jump through to the waverider, then he closed it for a moment to examine the pod.

“Is there a way we can open this thing now?” Oliver asked impatiently.

“I don’t really know. If this thing is connected to his brain, it could be dangerous to just pull him out of it,” Cisco sighed, rubbing away the blood that was starting to drip from his nose. He had been using his powers beyond his limits for the past two days and it was using up all his energy.

Kara squinted her eyes then they grew wide.

“I tried to look inside but… somehow, it's blocking my x-ray vision,” she exclaimed. They could still see Barry’s face through a small part that looked like a window, but other than that none of them could see anything else.

“Alright, we’ll just have to take the pod with us and figure this out back on Earth. Kara, you go inside this room and try to find anything that would help us understand this thing. Cisco and I are gonna carry the pod through a breach that would take us back to STAR labs and you can meet us there,” Oliver said, taking on the leader role once more.

The Arrow stood next to the pod, ready to push it through the breach Vibe would create.

“Ready?” Cisco asked, then opened the breach. Oliver used all his strength to push the pod and himself through the breach, then Cisco followed and closed the breach.

Supergirl stood by and watched as they disappeared through the blue portal and once they were gone, she flew into the chamber.

The chamber was mostly empty. There was a huge empty slot in the wall, which was no doubt where the pod was placed. There was a table in the middle where the aliens were keeping some devices that even Kara wouldn’t know how to use. She looked at them anyway and was trying to figure out what they were when she accidently clicked on a button on one of them. A beam of light came out of it and then the room completely changed.

Kara found herself standing in the middle of an empty street on Earth. The skies were dark and gloomy and they made her feel depressed. She jumped when she heard a wail that sounded too familiar coming out of one of the houses. She rushed towards the house and what she saw inside not only broke her heart but also terrified her.

She instantly realised that this alien machine had taken her to the world the Dominators have created for Barry inside his head. She rushed to his side and tried to hold him but her arms went right through him.

The machine didn’t actually take her there but it only allowed her to see what was happening. Her heart broke even more and she turned the machine off instantly. She couldn’t stand there and watch him while he was hurting. She took one last look at the room, grabbed a few files she thought might help, kept that device in her hand careful not to turn it on again, and then flew out of the ship towards Earth.

Back on their planet, and within the safety of STAR labs, all the scientists on all teams got to work to figure out how to open the pod without hurting the speedster inside, but without any information or knowledge of how it worked, there was nothing any of them was able to do.

The pod looked exactly similar to the ones Team Arrow were inside the day before. The only difference was this one was completely closed while the others were wide opened. They couldn’t even check on Barry’s vitals, the only thing telling them he was alive was the beeping sound coming from the pod, which they all assumed was his heartbeat.

“How did you guys get out of these?” Cisco asked Oliver.

“We started remembering our real lives. Then we saw a building that was out of place so we went there and found some sort of portal. Once we walked through it, we woke up.” Oliver explained.

“So, the only way out of this thing is for Barry to realise that what he’s living isn’t real?” Caitlyn questioned causing Cisco to shrug. It was a logical possibility, but how were they supposed to get inside Barry’s mind to tell him that?

Felicity was about to make a suggestion when suddenly Supergirl flew in. She asked Ray to take the files to the waverider for Gideon to translate them. Once he was gone, the alien turned to the rest of the heroes.

“I also found this device. I accidently turned it on and… well, I don’t really know how to describe it but I think this is what the Dominators were using to go inside Barry’s mind and watch… watch as he lives through the world they created for him.”

“What did you see?” Iris asked, her voice breaking. She had only just found out about Barry’s sacrifice and was trying to process everything that had been happening.

“I saw everyone, all of us. We were all dead.”

The room went silent for a few minutes. Some of the heroes glanced at Barry while the rest tried to look away. Each of them got lost in their thoughts for a few moments before Cisco broke the silence.

“I think I have an idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All feedback is welcome! Next chapter is Barry's POV. I shall say no more.


	4. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think I would finish this chapter so quickly but here I am. Anyways, thanks for all the feedback and apologies for any language mistakes. Here's chapter 4!

Barry woke up with an odd feeling. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling for a while, then got up once he heard his mother’s voice calling for him. He felt slightly confused, but couldn’t place why he would be feeling like that.

“Good morning, slugger,” his dad smiled as Barry went downstairs to have breakfast with his parents. At seeing his dad, Barry couldn’t help but feel more uncomfortable. He felt like something was wrong, something bad was going to happen. He tried to shake away that feeling but it only grew stronger with every passing moment he spent with his parents.

After breakfast, Barry excused himself saying that he needed to go out and get some air. He shut down his parents’ concerned questions by telling them everything was fine, grabbed his phone and coat and left his childhood home.

Once he was outside, he dialled Iris’ number in hopes that she would pick up, the ring on his left hand feeling heavier than ever.

When Barry woke up in his parents’ house, he knew he was there because he had fought with Iris the day before and decided that he should stay away for the night. Come to think about it, he couldn’t remember what their fight was even about.

Iris picked up after 2 rings.

“Barry, babe! Oh, Barry, please come home! I’m so sorry about last night,” Iris cried.

“Iris, it’s okay…” Barry hesitated, “I’m sorry, too.”

“Does that mean you’re coming home?”

“Of course, I am, honey. I’m on my way now,” Barry smiled despite everything.

Barry knew where his and Iris’ house was, but as he made his way there, it felt like the first time he’d ever seen it. He found the keys in his pockets and unlocked the door, but once he stepped in, he didn’t feel like he was home. It felt uncomfortable, and that sensation in his gut from earlier grew even stronger.

But that didn’t stop the smile that formed on his lips once he spotted Iris. She was cleaning up the table, clearly, she’d just had breakfast. There were four plates on the table, one unused. He wondered who the other two people in their house were.

His questions were answered almost instantly as two identical looking children ran up to him.

“Daddy!” They both squeaked in unison. ‘Daddy? Of course, how could I forgot my own children?’ He thought.

“Hey, little ones,” Barry picked Dawn up.

“They missed their dad reading a bedtime story to them last night,” Iris walked towards them and picked the other twin up.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Barry mumbled then he got an idea, “how about I make up to you guys? How about I take you to spend the day at Joe’s today?”

Barry asked the two children while looking at Iris. The reporter smiled shyly and hugged Don tighter. The look on her face and on the children's faces made him feel something he knew he hadn't felt in years; peace.

But before the children could react to his proposal, they all felt the ground shaking. Barry’s eyes widened and he looked at Iris to see her face mirroring his own. The twins looked at their parents in fear but they weren’t crying, yet. Barry opened their apartment’s door and let Iris go through then followed her, each of them still holding on to one of the twins. They started running down to reach ground level, but the shaking got so bad, Iris let out a yelp as she tripped and fell down the stairs.

“Iris! Don!” Barry screamed and Dawn started crying. He worked through his shock and kept running down the stairs while calling their names but neither his wife nor his son made a sound and Barry was terrified of what he would find once he reached ground level.

The feeling of unease from earlier had turned into terror as he reached the ground and saw his son and wife. They were both unconscious and Barry reached for them to check their pulse. He was relieved to find Iris breathing but the relief was replaced with panic when he found that Don’s heart wasn’t beating.

“Oh, no… No…” Barry began chest compressions immediately. 30 compressions, 2 breaths. He kept repeating the process, while doing his best not to lose hope or pass out from exhaustion. He was certain that adrenaline was the only thing keeping him from losing consciousness.

Two minutes later, he was still performing CPR, when Iris came to.

“Oh, my God…” she whispered as she watched her husband try to bring her son back to life.

Barry kept going for two more minutes, despite how badly his whole body ached. The more the time passed, the more frustrated he became. At some point he couldn’t remember, he started screaming for his boy to wake up. He started shouting for anyone to come and help them. Iris sat on the side sobbing, her daughter in her hands.

Then suddenly, the devastated family found themselves standing in Barry’s childhood home.

“Wha…” Barry panted, his mind unable to process what the hell just happened.

“Barry, what’s happening? I’m scared, Barry!” Iris screamed. Barry tried to calm her down but failed. He looked around and found that whatever had teleported them there, didn’t bring their daughter with them.

For some reason, the idea of teleport didn’t sound as crazy as it should have.

Then it hit him. He remembered everything. Remembered why being around his parents felt odd. Remembered why the apartment didn’t feel like home. Remembered why he couldn’t remember his own children.

It was because none of it was real.

He remembered who he really was.

He was the Flash. Iris wasn’t his wife, only his girlfriend, and they certainly didn’t have any children. He remembered his parents. He remembered Flashpoint. He remembered Cisco's anger and Caitlyn's Killer Frost.

Barry stepped away from Iris, who looked at him with eyes full of concern.

“Barry? Barry! What’s going-,” the reporter didn’t finish her question because a metal arm went through her chest.

“NO! Iris!” The speedster began to rush towards her then stopped. ‘This isn’t real.’ He thought.

“I know what you’re thinking, Flash,” the Reverse Flash’s voice rang through the house, “you’re thinking that it’s okay. This world isn’t real. Your Iris is back home, safe and sound.”

Barry glared at the man who’d ruined his life.

“You might be right, Allen. Your girlfriend's death hasn't happened, yet,” the villain emphasised on the ‘yet’, “but this one has!”

And at that moment, the Reverse Flash dragged Nora Allen out of nowhere and stabbed her in the heart. Barry’s heart broke at watching his mother die for the third time in his life. He ran to her and held her in his arms.

“Remember, Barry? How you tried to save her but failed? Remember how you asked me to kill her?” Eobard Thawne laughed while Barry sobbed.

“Oh, look. It’s your precious dad too,” Eobard smirked at something behind Barry. The Flash turned around and watched Zoom stab his father, again.

“Looks like you were too slow to save him as well!” Eobard laughed.

“You’ll never be fast enough, Flash,” Hunter spoke as he took off his mask.

“We’ll always be a part of you, Barry, to remind you that you’ll never be fast enough. You’ll never be able to save any of your friends, not that they’ll want you to anyway. They all hate you, remember?” they both said in unison and suddenly, the room was full of everyone Barry loves. They all stood there and looked at him with eyes full of hate.

“You killed my brother,” Cisco spat as he powered up his gauntlets and hit Barry.

“You! You turned me into a monster,” Caitlyn screamed at him in her Killer Frost voice as she began throwing frozen icicles at the broken boy.

“Our lives were normal before you showed up,” Oliver growled as he shook his head.

“Everyone who comes in contact with you, either dies or is ruined forever,” Wally joined in.

“You screwed up everyone’s lives,” Sara fumed.

“Even your parents are dead because of you. And my daughter…” Joe spoke.

“Please…” Barry whimpered.

The scarlet speedster knew he shouldn’t be listening to any of this, he knew it was happening inside his head. But the longer he sat there listening to his loved ones blame him for everything, the more real it all felt.

‘Real or not, what difference does it make?’ he thought, ‘they all do hate me in real life anyway.’

“That’s right!” the Reverse Flash exclaimed, “and they’re all gonna die because of you!”

The ground started shaking and all the hero’s family and friends fell to the floor going absolutely limp.

His eyes widened as he rushed towards them. They were all dead.

Barry was standing in the house where his parents were both murdered, with everyone else he’d ever loved dead. All because of him.

He covered his face with his hands and wailed. He cried and cried till his eyes were dry, and at some point, he could have sworn he felt arms go through him, like someone was trying to hold him.

He sat for what felt like hours, lost in his own self-destructive thoughts when his grief was abruptly interrupted as the two speedsters who’d ruined his life appeared once more and attacked him.

Normally, Barry would have fought back. He would have tried to stop them whether out of fear or anger or just sheer determination. But at that moment, he felt defeated. He was more exhausted than he’d ever been in his life.

So he just fell to the floor while the two evil speedsters took turns at kicking and punching him, then as fast as the beating started, it stopped.

Barry looked up weakly and saw a blue portal and two figures walking towards him, before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't wait to hear what you guys think about this! (Please don't hate me)


	5. Waking up

“You want to… what?” Felicity asked Cisco. He had explained his idea twice already but no one except Caitlyn seemed to be getting it.

“I’m going to vibe myself into Barry’s mind and snap him out of whatever he’s seeing,” Cisco summarised.

“What does that even mean?”

“Will it work, though?” Caitlyn asked him, ignoring Felicity’s question. They had already been trying to explain it for a while but apparently, Cisco’s powers were too complicated for them to understand.

“I was able to vibe myself back into the dream I kept having of the evil Doctor Wells killing me, so maybe I can do the same thing with Barry,”

Oliver stepped forward towards Cisco. “Can you take someone with you?” he queried.

Cisco gave him a look but answered anyways. “Well, I was able to take Iris with me when we were trying to pull Barry out of the Speed Force, so I don’t see why not.”

“Then I’m going in with you,” Oliver declared.

“What? Oliver, you can’t just-“ Felicity started but the Green Arrow interrupted.

“I have to do this. Cisco is way too angry at Barry right now and even if he’s trying to help, his emotions might get the best of him.”

“He is standing right here, dude,” Cisco rolled his eyes but thought that Oliver had a point. Sure, after his own time travelling ‘misstep’, he was able to look at the situation from Barry’s point of view. But that didn’t change the fact that he was still mad at the speedster, and that after all of this was over, they would need to sit down and have a very long conversation.

“So, how do we do this?” Oliver asked.

“Caitlyn and I are gonna set everything up. Just… clear the room and I’ll let you know when it’s all ready,” Cisco sighed. Oliver nodded stiffly and walked out of the room, followed by everyone else.

The Wests stayed behind, refusing to leave Barry’s side. Iris wanted to be the one to go with Cisco, but she also knew that Oliver was stronger than her, both mentally and physically. It’s not that Iris wasn’t strong enough mentally, but if anyone would have the strength to ignore what they saw inside Barry’s mind and focus on nothing but bringing him back to the real world, it would be Oliver Queen.

Cisco and Caitlyn worked on preparing the room so it would be empty except for Barry’s pod and two beds, both placed on one side of the pod. Once they were done, Cisco walked out to the cortex and gave Oliver a nod which the elder man took as a sign that he could go in.

“Oliver, be careful,” Felicity hesitated. He nodded and went inside the room. He found Caitlyn standing in the corner of the room and Cisco standing in front of two beds, wearing his Vibe glasses.

“Okay, so here’s how we’re gonna do this. I’ll lay down on this bed,” Cisco explained, pointing at the bed right next to Barry, “I’m gonna put one hand on the pod, and the other I’m gonna be holding the device Kara brought us. You will lay on the other bed and place your hand on my shoulder, got it?”

Oliver didn’t need to be told twice. Within a few moments, both men were laying down on the beds. Cisco held the alien device in his hand and looked at the vigilante laying down next to him.

“You ready?” Oliver nodded and hesitantly put his hand on the metahuman’s shoulder.

Cisco took a deep breath, murmured a curse in Spanish then put his hand on the pod, focusing with all his might on Barry.

It took a few attempts and Oliver was starting to think it wouldn’t work, when suddenly both men found themselves standing in a house. Cisco recognised the house immediately from all the times he’d visited it to collect information on Nora Allen’s murder. He looked around and was horrified at the scene in front of him.

Everyone including him was on the floor dead. The place looked like it was hit by a tornado. Cisco looked behind him and saw the portal he created and that was when he noticed that Oliver wasn’t by his side anymore, but instead the vigilante was rushing towards something. Cisco’s eyes followed the man and they stopped when he located Barry. It took him less than an instance to rush after Oliver once he saw the state his friend was in, but not without noticing that everyone on the floor was vanishing.

The speedster was on the floor whimpering while some invisible force kept using him like a punching bag. He looked up for a moment then his body went limp.

“Barry!” Oliver called as he approached him. Cisco sat next to him and checked his pulse.

“We have to wake him up and tell him this all isn’t real. Otherwise, coming here would have been useless,” the engineer stated. Oliver nodded once and started trying to wake Barry up. They both called his name and shook him, but there was no response other than the occasional moan of pain.

Oliver gave Cisco a look, then slapped Barry across the face. Cisco was taken aback for a moment but when Barry gasped and opened his eyes, all his focus shifted on him.

“Barry? Can you hear me?” Oliver asked. The young speedster looked up at the two of them with pain and fear in his eyes, and it hurt the two of them to see him like that.

“Listen. You have to focus on me, okay? None of what’s happening here is real, but we are and we’ve come to take you home,” Cisco urged and placed his hand on Barry’s shoulder.

But Barry flinched and looked at Cisco through tearful eyes. “Why would you? I killed your brother! You hate me…”

Cisco’s eyes widened and he was at loss for words. “I…” But Oliver gave him a sharp look that screamed ‘later’ so his next words were: “I don’t hate you, Barry. You’re my friend.”

Barry looked confused, like he didn’t believe what his friend- ex-friend - had just said to him. Only a few moments ago, Cisco was screaming at him in anger.

“Barry… No one hates you,” Oliver spoke softly, carefully placing a hand on his knee.

Barry didn’t flinch this time but he didn’t relax either.

“You should, though. Especially… you, Ollie. Your lives were normal before you met me.”

“Oh, my life was far from normal, buddy,” Oliver chuckled sadly, “but even if it was you who changed our lives, that’s okay. You changed it for the better. You’re a hero, Barry.”

The speedster looked into the older man’s eyes and saw nothing but honesty.

You can be better. The older man had once said.

“Why are you saying this now?” Barry croaked.

“Because we want you to come home with us. All what you’ve seen here isn’t real, Barry. But we are,” Oliver urged trying to make the younger man snap out of his nightmare.

“You’re… You’re real?”

“Of course, we are, Barry,” Oliver furrowed his eyebrows, “Why do you think we wouldn’t be?”

“I…” Barry cleared his throat, “I know that everything that’s happening here isn’t actually happening in real life, that it’s all in my mind. I thought you would be, too. I… I thought I was gonna be stuck here forever.”

“We would never have left you here, Barry,” Cisco smiled, “no matter what, dude, we’d always come for you.”

And it was all true. Despite how mad Cisco was at Barry for what he had done and changed in the timeline, Vibe would have never left the Flash alone. He would have always come for him, to save him.

Barry looked up at his friends, eyes still fearful and in pain. But this time, they also had a spark of something he hadn’t felt since his friends found about how much he had messed up by creating Flashpoint. It was a spark of hope.

“Let’s get you home, Flash,” Oliver smiled as he stood up and extended a hand for Barry to grab.

The speedster hesitantly grabbed the archer’s hand and let himself be pulled up to a standing position. And when he felt like dizziness was about to bring him back down to the ground, his other friend was there instantly, holding his arm and making sure he wouldn’t fall.

The three men walked slowly towards the portal till they were one step away from stepping into it. But Barry looked like he was having second thoughts, like he was scared this wasn’t real and it was another trick his mind was playing on him to break him even more.

“Barry, it’s okay, this is real,” Oliver reassured him, and with that, they all took that last step and within seconds, all woke up in their own bodies, back in STAR labs.


	6. Waking up (Part II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally Winter Break. Yay!

Once Cisco and Oliver woke up, everyone rushed into the room and stared at the alien pod impatiently. They didn’t know how it was supposed to work or how Barry would get out of it.

Finally, after what felt like hours, but was actually only a few seconds, they all heard the sound of a sharp intake of breath come out from inside the pod. They could see movement then the pod started to shake as Barry thrashed and squirmed and pulled at the alien wires connected to his body in an attempt to get out.

No one knew how to help him, but Oliver couldn’t just stand and watch. “Kara!”

The Kryptonian understood immediately and stepped towards the pod. “Barry! I’m gonna try and open it, okay?”

It took him a few moments to process what was going on, but once he did, he stopped jerking violently and waited for Kara to free him. The alien didn’t hesitate. She was very desperate to get her friend out of that thing that had been hurting him and was more than willing to do some smashing while she was at it.

Using that desperation, Supergirl struck the pod with enough force to shatter it without hurting Barry.

The scene almost looked like it was in slow motion to everyone else. The upper part of the alien pod was completely destroyed, turning into some sort of jelly-like substance, which baffled everyone and would later be discussed and theorised about amongst all the scientists in the room.

Once it was destroyed, they were all finally able to see Barry inside it, who had covered his head with his arms to block any debris that could potentially hurt him.

Then he slowly began to move, letting everyone’s concerned faces seep into his line of vision. His eyes moved from one face to another, till they landed on the one person he had been looking for. Once he spotted her, he flashed out of the pod, ignoring Caitlyn’s concerned shouts, and stopped in front of Iris.

He let out a shaky breath while staring into her eyes, then before she could say anything, he pulled her into a tight hug and buried his face in the croak of her neck.

Iris had been furious with Barry. She was terrified he would be harmed, but she was angry he had so easily and selflessly decided to sacrifice himself. She was mad at him for not even saying goodbye to her when he had known he was about to die. She knew it would have been hard for him, but she needed to channel her emotions and all she could do was feel angry.

But now, when he was holding her so tight, his entire body trembling, she couldn’t stay mad at him anymore. She couldn’t yell at him for what he had done. All she could do was hold him and rub soothing circles on his back.

Everyone who wasn’t a member of Team Flash noticed that it was a very personal moment and decided to leave. Asking questions about the aliens and their plans could wait till later, when the speedster was more awake and aware that he wasn’t living in a nightmare anymore.

“Barry…” Iris trailed, not knowing what to say. Barry pulled away and looked at everyone.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured. Joe sighed.

“You don’t have to apologise, son. We know you were trying to do the right thing. Just… don’t ever do something like that again, alright?”

Barry closed his eyes. “No... I didn’t mean for... I’m… I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”

“What is?”

“Everything,” the speedster breathed, “all of this. Everything that’s happened to all of you since you’ve met me, it’s all been my fault!”

“Barry, that’s not true,” Iris tried to comfort him but he just let out a sad laugh.

“It is. It has… It has all been because of me! The particle accelerator… The singularity, Earth-2, Flashpoint, everything!”

“Barry, you need to breath and calm down,” Caitlyn spoke softly, but he was so lost in his own thoughts and it seemed that there was no stopping the self-hating ramble he was about to go on.

“If I hadn’t existed, both of my parents would have still been alive! Eddie, Ronnie, Dante… they’d have all still been here! Even the real Harrison Wells and his wife would have still been alive, would have been working on achieving their lives’ dreams! Everyone in this room has been hurt because of me! You were all right to blame me for everything! You were all right to regret ever meeting me! It’s all-“

“Barry!” Iris interrupted, unable to keep listening to him bring himself down, “none of what happened was your fault, okay? You need to look on the brighter side, Bear. You might be right, that some of these things wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t in our lives, but guess what? We still wouldn’t have it any other way. I know I wouldn’t.”

“Same here,” Joe intervened, “you helped us in so many ways. You brought light into my life, son, and like Iris said, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“What did you mean by ‘we were right to regret meeting you’?” Wally questioned, seemingly the only person who caught on that phrase. Everyone looked at Wally then back at Barry, same question now running through their minds.

Barry rested his head in his palms and tried to calm his breathing.

“Why don’t you sit down?” Caitlyn offered gingerly. Barry looked up at her through tearful eyes and slowly nodded.

Cisco watched Caitlyn lead Barry to another room so they would be alone while she checked him over so he wouldn’t be overwhelmed with everyone there, then turned to the others, who were all looking at him.

“What?”

“What did you see,” Joe asked, “when you vibed his mind?”

Cisco sighed. “Honestly, I don’t even know what I saw. All I know is that it wasn’t pretty. We were all dead, and something or someone was beating him up. It’s no wonder he’s reacting the way he is.”

Then Cisco followed his two friends to see if they needed any help. Caitlyn was drawing blood from Barry to test it, while he sat in silence.

“Barry… I’m sure that whatever you saw was horrible,” Caitlyn broke the silence, “and I know that right now you probably don’t want to talk about it. But trust me, keeping it all in is only going to hurt you more.”

“She’s right, man. We know we just got you out of that thing and you’re probably not in the mood for a deep chat, but once you are… Well… we’re here for you. All of us,” Cisco offered.

Barry looked up at Cisco, then back down at his hands and nodded. He seemed to be in deep thought, like he was back in that world living its events over and over again. The two other scientists looked at each other, mirroring each other’s looks of concern, but said nothing.

Once Caitlyn was done checking him for any physical injuries, she opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Barry getting up and saying that he needed some time alone, then flashing out of the room without another word.

“Where did he go?” Iris asked once the two scientists came out of the medical room.

“We don’t know. He said he needed some time alone, but since I’m sure we can all agree that this is not a good idea right now, Cisco is going to contact Oliver and ask him to follow Barry. It’s a good thing Barry is still wearing his suit so we can track him.”

Team Arrow and Team Legends were in the Hall of Justice when Oliver got a call from Cisco asking him to follow Barry, who had left STAR labs without saying where he was going. Kara offered to carry Oliver and fly after Barry, but Oliver had a reputation to maintain, but he agreed to let Kara tag along.

The two heroes found Barry at his childhood home. He was sitting at the bottom of stairs, only a few feet away from where both of his parents had been murdered, his arms were hugging his legs and head resting on his knees. The two approached him slowly, causing him to raise his head and look at them. Kara sat next to him, put a hand on his shoulder and offered a small smile. Oliver sighed and asked Barry if he was okay, despite the fact that he had already known the answer to that.

Barry exhaled, his heart feeling heavier than it ever had. He knew that the only way that weight would get lifted off was if he shared what he had seen with someone.

But he couldn’t talk to his team about any of it. They were too close and letting them know about what he had seen would make them behave even weirder than they were at the moment. And his earlier outburst wasn’t helping.

He knew he would eventually have to tell his team but it was too soon for that. It had all been too fresh in his mind, too real.

And Kara and Oliver were sitting right there, both willing to listen, both would understand how he was feeling, neither judging him for any of it. So, Barry told them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	7. Super Friends

Hearing what Barry had gone through, brought tears to Kara’s eyes, breaking both her and Oliver’s hearts. He had talked and talked, telling them everything that he had seen in that alternate world, the two other heroes listening attentively without interrupting. Kara had wanted to reach out and hug him in different multiple moments but thought against it. She worried that if she made any movement, he would stop talking. Oliver could not look at his friend, fearing that if he looked him in the eyes and saw his face, he would burst into tears himself.

On the other hand, Barry was completely lost in thought, reciting the events of the alternate world as if he had been reliving them. He knew none of it was real, had been certain of that fact since the first moment, but that did not change the fact that it was something that he had had to live through, something that would always be in his memories and haunt him forever.

Once Barry was done, Kara looked up at him, “I’m so sorry, Barry. You don’t deserve to go through this.”

Barry huffed, “that’s the thing, though, Kara. I think I do.”

“What?” Oliver looked up, “Barry, no. That’s not true.”

“It is, Ollie. I have messed up everyone’s lives. Cisco is right to hate me. I killed his brother. I killed so many people… All because of my selfishness.”

“That’s not true!” Kara exclaimed, “You’re a hero, Barry.”

“Kara is right. You are a hero. You are the most selfless person I have ever met, Barry. And don’t be ridiculous, you haven’t killed anyone.”

Barry squeezed his eyes shut, a few tears leaking through his eyelashes. “Why are you guys being so nice to me? I don’t deserve this.”

“You’re one of my dearest and closest friends,” Oliver answered him truthfully before Kara chirped in, “the only thing you don’t deserve is feeling the way you do now.”

The older man nodded at the alien then looked back at their broken friend, “Barry, I already told you this. You are not god. You can’t control how people’s lives change. Perhaps you made a mistake, that no one has any right to blame you for, but you could not have possibly known how it would have impacted anyone’s lives. Besides, if you really were selfish like you say, you would have stayed in the Flashpoint timeline. Your parents were alive, and you had Iris by your side. But you saw that people were different and some were hurt and you decided to save them by getting your own mother killed again. That’s a hero to me, Bear.”

The speedster mumbled something that the archer did not catch, that caused Kara’s eyes to go wide.

“What?”

“I said… she would have still been alive if I was never born.” Barry said as he looked into Oliver’s eyes, his miserable eyes full of self-loathing and bitterness. It physically pained Oliver to hear the most optimistic and bright person in his life say that, and to see the light in his eyes completely shunned out.

“You can’t think like that, Barry,” Kara said, reaching out to rub his shoulder to comfort him, but pulling away from him the instant her hand touched him and caused him to flinch away.

“If I was never born,” Barry began, “my parents would have both still been alive. Ronnie, Eddie, Dante, and so many others would still be alive. If the Flash was never born, the Reverse Flash would have never been born either and so many lives would have been saved. The singularity would have never happened, Zoom would have never come to our Earth and killed so many people. Caitlin and Wally would have never gotten their powers and they would have both been safe. God, everyone’s lives would have been better if I was never born.”

Kara and Oliver were horrified to hear Barry talk like that. They had known that he had been feeling guilty over Flashpoint, but to learn that his guilt and self-depreciation ran so deeply was heart-breaking.

“Barry… please tell me this is not you saying this… Please, this has to be the aftereffects of the Dominators attack on your brain.” Kara whispered. She felt like crying again as she remembered the faces and words of the people she had met who had been experimented on by the Dominators. They had been shells of the people they used to be, and now Barry was wearing an extremely familiar look.

Barry looked down. “The – The Dominators may have helped bring it all to the surface but… they didn’t plant anything in my head, Kara. They didn’t have to. I’m a mess, and I’m broken,” he sobbed, “I’m so full of shame and I just wish it would all go away.”

“Oh, Barry,” the archer put a hand on Barry’s knee and squeezed it, “why didn’t you come to me? Bear, you can _always_ come to me and talk to me about anything. You shouldn’t bottle up your thoughts like that, especially when they’re so incredibly wrong.

Barry, look at me.” The speedster swallowed then looked up, “don’t you ever think like anyone would be better off without you, understood? No, this isn’t debatable. You have saved so many lives, Barry. You are a symbol of hope and light to thousands of people. You are nothing but a hero, and not just as the Flash, but as Barry Allen. Remember when we first met? You didn’t have super speed, but you had this good heart of yours, and this light inside you, and you saved my life then helped with the case we were working on, even though I was nothing short of a douche to you,” at that, Barry’s lips curved at the corners for a second, “and when I joined the League of Assassins, you were the only person who still believed in me. Yeah, Felicity told me what you said after you saved them.”

“Oliver…” Barry trailed off but had nothing to say.

“I agree with every word he said. Last year, when you helped out back in my universe, you didn’t just help me as the Flash. You were also this really sweet and smart guy who told me to slow down and let time heal what I had broken, to let go of things that were out of my control when I got affected by the red kryptonite. That sweet guy was right, and he is sitting right in front of me, blaming himself for things that were out of _his_ control. Barry… you shouldn’t think so low of yourself.  You’re saying all of those people would have been alive if you weren’t born, but Barry, what about all the people that are alive today _only_ because of you?”

“I’m one of those people,” Oliver said, “you have saved my life countless times. And the deaths Zoom and Reverse Flash caused are _not_ on you. They were two psychopaths who enjoyed tormenting you and hurting people. That is not your fault. You _stopped_ them, Bear. You saved the lives of the people they would have taken if _you_ were never born. And I’m sure the people of Central City are thankful for you every day. So are all of your friends and family. So am I.”

Barry breathed out shakenly. “That… You guys… I don’t know what to say.”

“Say that you will stand up, and run, and never look back at the past because none of it was your fault.” Oliver answered him, “and even if it was, it’s over now. The only thing you can do is move on and move forward.”

“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” Kara smiles.

“I – Thank you. Both of you,” Barry’s bloodshot eyes looked up at his two friends, and they could see that a little light has returned to them, “What do I do now?”

“I think, if you feel ready to do it, you should go back and talk to your team and family about this,” Kara answered sympathetically. Oliver nodded, agreeing with her, then patted Barry on the back.

“Okay. Uh… Can we – Can we stay here for a while longer though? And will you guys stay with me?” Barry bit his bottom lip, hating how weak he sounded but trusting his friends enough to show that weakness.

“Of course. We’ll stay for as long as you need us to.” Kara put her arms around Barry and gave Oliver a look, who raised his hands up in defence, “You know I’m not the hugging type,” he said.

“Oliver, we’re both fast enough to hug you without you knowing, so you might as well just join us,” Kara shrugged, causing Barry to snicker and Oliver to facepalm. “What?”

“Nothing. Just a déjà vu,” the archer said, his eyes looking up at Barry who grinned for the first time since they rescued him.

“She _is_ right, you know,” Barry muttered, putting big smiles on the two other heroes faces. Oliver mock-irritatingly muttered a ‘fine’ under his breath and put his arms around his two superpowered friends.

And for the first time in a while, Barry felt safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. It has been a year since I last updated this. I'm so very sorry about that, but I got busy then I just lost my muse for this story. I almost gave up on it, but after watching Crisis on Earth X, and hating how Barry was barely in it even in his own episode, I was inspired to come back to this. Anyways, tell me what you think!


	8. Confrontation

The feeling of bliss Barry had with Oliver and Kara was replaced with anxiety the second he decided to go back to STAR labs to talk to his team. He knew he had to do it, but could not shake the nervousness he had for confronting them all. Iris was probably mad at him for almost sacrificing himself without telling her. Cisco was still mad about Dante, probably still hated him. He knew the engineer was the one to rescue him alongside Oliver, but the whole rescue felt hazy to him. He did not remember much except the realisation that he needed to get out of there. He could not help but wonder if Cisco had helped save him just because they had been friends once, because they ‘worked together’ like he had told Kara, and were ‘on a mission’. Barry did not want to think so negatively, but he could not forget the looks of pure hatred Cisco had been giving him since Caitlin told everyone what he had done, what had been changed.

The speedster looked up from his lap and looked to the left, where Oliver was sitting in the driver’s seat. He glanced at the mirror to see Kara sitting at the back, rambling about something, no doubt trying to get him to think about something else other than what he was about to do. A few minutes earlier, Barry had told them that he wanted to go back, get that conversation with his team done with. They had asked if he was sure, and he had said no, but that it needed to be done. Oliver had suggested he drive them all back to STAR labs, so they would get there together if Barry needed their support.

The speedster was more than grateful for the two, who had not only been there for him now but also during the whole mission, while everyone else was against him after finding out about Flashpoint. But it was not shocking. Oliver had always been there for Barry, every single time he had asked for his help, either on a mission or just for moral support and advice. Kara was the sweetest person he had ever met, and she had said that she would always trust Barry. The two of them had, in fact. And they had shown it over the past few days. Naturally, he had trusted the two with his thoughts, had shared his feelings and experiences, and they did not let him down.

“Barry! Are you listening to me?” Kara exclaimed pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Huh? Yeah. Um, no, sorry,” he admitted, “I was… thinking.”

Oliver gave Barry a look then focused back on the road, “I thought we agreed you won’t overthink this.”

“I’m just worried, man,” Barry sighed, “what if they don’t forgive me? I did mess up big ti-“

“No, you didn’t,” Kara interrupted, “I thought we’ve established that.”

“I – Okay. Fine. But Cisco…” he trailed off, Oliver sighed, “I know. He’s blaming you for his brother’s death. But he shouldn’t be.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Barry asked.

“Maybe, I don’t know,” Oliver answered him truthfully, “but it wouldn’t be because it was actually your fault. Look, Barry. Cisco has been hurting over his brother’s death. He’s grieving. And one stage of grief is anger. Unfortunately for you, you’re the target of that anger.”

Barry rested his forehead on the palms of his hands.

“Do you want us to go up there with you?” Kara asked Barry, breaking the silence that had settled, just as they were pulling over in front of STAR Labs.

“I don’t know,” Barry answered, rubbing the back of his neck.

“How about we go up, but we don’t go into the cortex with you? We’ll wait outside, on standby, for if you need us,” Oliver suggested.

“O – Okay, I guess,” Barry was getting more nervous by the second.

“Relax, Barry,” Kara said, “it’ll all be fine. And if it isn’t, we’ll be right here for you.”

The speedster smiled. A minute later, the trio was inside the building. Team Flash was in the cortex waiting for him; Oliver had texted Iris telling her they were on their way.

“You got this.” Kara smiled. Barry took a deep breath and braced himself to confront his team.

He walked into the cortex, all eyes shifting and landing on him.

“Barry!” Iris breathed out in relief and rushed to hug him. He returned the hug immediately, yearning for her scent.

The next to walk up to him was Joe, who was smiling widely at him, “Thank God, you’re okay,” his adoptive father said, pulling him into a hug.

Joe was followed by Wally, then Caitlin who gave him a sympathetic smile.

Then Cisco walked up to him and stood right in front of him. Barry looked at the ground, his heart racing. Then Cisco did something Barry was not expecting. The engineer pulled him into a hug while mumbling, “I’m so glad you’re okay, dude.”

When he pulled back, Barry looked stunned. He blinked twice before looking down at his hands. Cisco did not say anything, however, letting them fall into an awkward silence.

Iris decided to break the silence with a question Barry was kind of hoping no one would ask, “Barry what happened to you?”

He sighed and closed his eyes. It was now or never. So, he told them. He broke down again, halfway through, but he told them everything. From the suspiciously perfect life, he was having, to the moment everything went downhill, to the Reverse Flash and Zoom coming back to taunt him. He told them how he felt, how he had had all the guilt and shame built up through the past years since he became the Flash. How he had blamed himself for so many deaths. He tried to tell them about how he had wished he had never been born, but he could not bring himself to say it to them, especially with Joe and Iris there. He decided that it was a thing that was going to stay between him, Oliver, and Kara.

Once, he was done, he closed his eyes and hung his head low. He was terrified of how they were going to react. The whole team stood in silence for a few minutes. Barry was hoping Kara and Oliver were in there with him. They would have known exactly what to say.

Speaking of whom, the two other heroes were still waiting outside anxiously. Kara had been using her super hearing to fill them both in, and the silence was getting on her nerves.

“B – Barry, I…,” Cisco broke the silence but was too stunned to say anything more.

“Look, guys, you don’t have to say anything,” Barry finally said, “I only told you because you’re my family, and I couldn’t keep this from you. I shouldn’t.”

“Barry,” Iris choked out, “I’m so glad you told us but… Why haven’t you said anything sooner? Gosh, Bear, I can’t believe you really think you’re selfish. You are the most selfless man I know. None of what has happened was your fault. Even Flashpoint.” She emphasised that last sentence.

“You were hurting, Bear,” Joe spoke, “you did what you needed to do to feel at peace. None of us should blame you for wanting to see your parents alive and well again, especially after the way they died.”

“Maybe I got my powers after Flashpoint,” Caitlin joined in, “but it was you, Barry, who talked me off of fully turning into Killer Frost. And I don’t blame you. Joe’s right. We would all have done the same thing to bring back someone we love.”

“Yeah, dude, you shouldn’t think like that,” Wally said, “you’ve saved my life on different occasions, and I’m sure you’ve saved every single person in this room countless times.”

Barry sighed, “if it wasn’t for me, none of you would have needed saving, to begin with,” he found himself saying.

“No, Barry,” Iris immediately said, “us, or anyone else getting hurt, is _not_ your fault. The other metas who go around hurting people are the only ones to blame here.”

“Those metas are my fault, too,” he mumbled. Luckily, Iris heard him.

“No, they’re Reverse Flash’s fault,” she said, “and besides, even if he hadn’t come back in time to mess up the timeline, the particle accelerator was going to explode anyway eventually.”

“Son, you need to stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders,” Joe voiced, “you’ve been doing it your whole life, and I was hoping that after you caught your mother’s murderer, you would move on. But it just seems that this weight keeps getting heavier.”

“I know, Joe, I… I wish it wasn’t this way,” Barry breathed out, a tear running down his cheek.

Then Barry glanced at Cisco, who was wearing a complete poker face.

“Cisco… I – I just want you to know that I am _so_ sorry for Dante’s death. I take full responsibility for it and I am not asking you to forgive me, because what I did was unforgivable but,” Barry paused for a moment waiting for any signs of change in his ex-best friend’s face, then continued after finding none, “I just want you to know that I feel _terrible_ about it. And that I will _never_ forgive myself.”

Cisco wanted to forgive Barry, he really did, especially after everything. But after being so bitter at him, he could not help himself, “Barry… you shouldn’t blame yourself for what Reverse Flash and Zoom did but… what Flashpoint changed. I still can’t accept it. I know you feel bad about it, and you should. You messed up. And I can’t just easily forgive you. I know this isn’t what you need to hear right now, but, I can’t just move on because you feel bad, Barry.”

“Come on, we all mess up-“ Iris tried but Cisco interrupted her, “Yeah, but we don’t get other innocent people killed because of our selfishness!” he found himself saying, then immediately regretted it. He had not meant to say that.

“Cisco!” Caitlin yelled at him. Everyone was taken aback, even himself, except Barry.

“No, Cait. He’s right,” Barry whispered then smiled, “you’re right, Cisco. I was selfish. And I have run out of ways to show you how sorry I am. M – Maybe, I should take some time off the team. That would be better for everyone.”

“Barry, this is _your_ team,” Iris gasped.

“It’s okay, Iris. I’ll still be the Flash. This can become team KidFlash,” he smiled at Wally, “I can work alone. It’d be for the best, so I don’t get any of you hurt.”

Outside the cortex, Kara and Oliver had had enough. The archer walked charging in, surprising the already stupefied team.

“I’m sorry, Barry, but we can’t stay outside and listen to any more of this,” Kara said. She looked heartbroken, while Oliver looked like he was ready to put an arrow in someone. He did not even look at Barry, his eyes were only focused on another metahuman.

“No offence, Cisco, but what in the world is wrong with you? Barry has just been through hell, and he’s blaming himself for every bad thing that has ever happened, none of which is his fault by the way,” he directed that last part at Barry, who sighed and looked away, “and you have the audacity to stand here and call him selfish? To say that he got people killed?”

“I didn’t… mean…” Cisco shook his head.

“You didn’t mean it? Then why say it? Especially now? We thought Barry was… _gone_ just mere hours ago, and you’re standing here berating him over something he had no control over. Yeah, he created Flashpoint, but wouldn’t you have done the same to save your own family, your own parents if you had the same powers he does? Who of us wouldn’t? Because I know I would without breaking a sweat.”

Cisco looked away, remembering how much he fought with Barry over not going back in time to save Dante, realising that he would have definitely done the same thing Barry did. And in doing so, he might have gotten someone else killed. He remembered how just hours ago, he had messed with time himself, causing all the events of those days happen. He started to feel ashamed of how he had just treated Barry, especially after the speedster had shared so much with them. Before Cisco could say anything, Oliver continued his rant.

“I told Barry this and now I’m telling you. Barry is not a god. He cannot control who lives and who dies. Your brother could have died whether Flashpoint happened or not. We’ll never know. The only thing we can do is move on. Just move on!” Oliver was tired of how Barry’s supposed best friend had been treating him. Could he not see how much the boy was hurting?

Meanwhile, Kara and Iris were standing with Barry behind Oliver, each on either side of him, both on the defensive mood, while Barry just wanted to get out of there. He was tired. When was this day going to end?

Suddenly, the events of the past few days, the lack of food, the emotional, mental, and physical torture, all caught up to the speedster, because one second he was looking at the back of Oliver’s head, the next everything had turned black, Iris’ concerned yell fading into the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	9. Conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a short chapter. Merry Christmas :)

Barry woke up to the sound of beeping, a headache, and a stinging sensation in his left hand. An IV bag, his mind registered. He felt drowsy, and could not open his eyes, but he could hear people talking. They felt distant, he could barely make out what they were saying.

“Is he going to be okay, though?” Kara’s hushed voice said.

“He should be fine,” Caitlin said, “he has already burnt through 10 IV bags and should be waking up soon. We just need to make sure he eats when he does.”

The two stopped talking, but Barry could hear Oliver’s unmistakeable yells. He sounded like he was arguing with someone, but Barry couldn’t hear what about. Then he felt more tired all of a sudden and decided that whatever it was could wait as he fell back into the silent dark void.

 

* * *

 

 

After they all made sure Barry was okay, and he only passed out because of exhaustion, Oliver asked if he could have a few words with Cisco. He had wanted to talk to him about Barry, talk him into forgiving the speedster, but Cisco’s stubbornness brought them into a heated argument.

“What is wrong with you?” Oliver growled, “Why are you being so cruel to him?”

“I don’t want to be!” Cisco exclaimed, “But just like he’s been hurting, I’ve been hurting, too!”

“Two days ago, you would have died to rescue him from that ship, what’s with the sudden change of heart?” the archer challenged.

“There’s no change of heart! I would never hesitate to save him! He was my best friend! But I just can’t let the fact that he killed my brother go!”

“He _didn’t_ kill your br – “

“Maybe but what he did got him killed! I don’t care if he didn’t personally drive the car that…” Cisco paused to calm himself for a second, “but he did cause Flashpoint, and if he hadn’t, Dante would still be here. He took it upon himself to save _his_ family, what about _mine_? He saved his family, and in doing so, he destroyed mine!”

“Cisco! Are you listening to yourself? He watched both of his parents get murdered! And he thinks he caused both of those murders! He was hurting –“

“So am I!” Cisco yelled in anger, “why does he get to grieve, and I don’t?!”

Oliver let out a frustrated sigh, “no one told you not to grieve, that’s not my point. All I’m trying to say is that it wasn’t his fault.”

“Then whose fault was it?”

“I – I don’t know… I’ve been asking myself this question for the past ten years,” Oliver said calmly, “but I know for a fact that the answer to this question isn’t Barry. He’s your best friend, Cisco, and he’s been hurting as much as you.”

“He isn’t.”

“What?”

“He isn’t my friend. Not anymore.”

Oliver was taken aback. “Come o – “

“Don’t. I can’t forgive him. At least not yet,” Cisco took a step towards the archer, “if it was Thea who had died because of Flashpoint, would _you_ have forgiven him?”

Oliver sighed and rubbed his hands over his face before replying, “After calming down, and realising he did it to save his parents, yes, I would have. I wouldn’t have blamed him. He didn’t know it would happen.”

Cisco raised his eyebrows in shock. “How could you say that?”

“Because my team has already gone through this. Or, well, something similar. Thea… her father, Malcolm, gave her a unique plant called Vetera, which makes those who consume it easily susceptible to suggestion and leaves the person with no recollection of what they've done. And he made her kill Sara.” Cisco gasped.

“I didn’t know that…”

“Yeah. And it wasn’t easy on Laurel, but she forgave her. Because, even though she might have done it, it wasn’t her fault. She wasn’t even aware of it.”

“But that is nothing like what Barry did, Oliver. Thea did nothing wrong.”

“Yeah, well, in a way she did. She worked with Malcolm. And despite knowing the dangers of it, she just wanted to be with her father. Do you see the resemblance now?”

Cisco let out a shaky breath and looked away, and before he could reply, an alarm sounded in the building. The two shared a look before running back into the cortex.

“The Dominators!” Caitlin exclaimed, looking at the computer screen, “they’re back.”


	10. Dominators

“We got your text,” Diggle said to Oliver, walking into the STAR labs cortex with Thea and Felicity to find the legends and Supergirl all suited up looking very serious, except Mick, who just looked bored. The whole league was there, and on the ready for any attack. The whole league except for their leader.

“Where’s Barry?” Felicity asked.

“He’s still unconscious,” Oliver provided, turning to Caitlin, who sighed and said that he should have already been awake and that there was no physical reason keeping him from it. “It could be psychological.” She added uncomfortably.

Cisco glanced towards the med bay, then looked down at his feet.

“Well, it’s better he doesn’t fight with us anyway,” Sara stated, “we can’t risk them capturing him again, which could be the reason why they regrouped so fast and are returning to Earth.”

“So, what do we do?” Ray asked the question that had been on everyone’s minds, “clearly the device we put on them did not work or just wasn’t enough to keep them away. What’s our plan now?”

“I think I have an idea,” Kara joined in, “but I would need to go back to my Earth for it.”

“Why is that?” Oliver asked.

“Let’s just say I’m not the only alien hero there,” she smiled, “and the guy I want to bring isn’t just as strong as me, but he’s also a telepath. And did I mention he was a shapeshifter as well?”

“A shapeshifter?” Diggle muttered raising his eyebrows.

“How do you intend for us to use him?” Joe asked.

“If he gets near enough to the leader, he can plant in his head that humans and metahumans are peaceful and that they should leave this planet alone for good,” Kara explained.

“That would actually be a pretty good plan, but aren’t they telepathic, too?” Sara asked, “wouldn’t they be able to tell?”

“Have I mentioned that he’s a pretty powerful telepath?” Kara smirked, “and with the help of my friend Winn, we can build something that shields his mind.”

“I have some ideas for that,” Cisco pointed out.

“Great,” Oliver exhaled, “let’s get on that then.” He said looking at Cisco, with a slight bitterness in his eyes.

“Wait,” Iris’ soft voice cut through. They all turned to look at her, standing at the door of the med bay. “Would your friend be able to help Barry, too?”

Kara smiled and walked towards her, and gave her a tight hug. “I’m sure he can. And he would not hesitate to.”

“Trust me, Iris,” the emerald archer said softly, “if those Dominators were not back, our only priority would have been figuring out what’s wrong with Barry.”

“I get it,” she nodded, “he wouldn’t want you guys to do anything less, anyways.”

 Oliver rubbed her back then looked at Kara. “Let’s get this done with, once and for all.”

She nodded then looked at Cisco, who had his goggles and gloves on and was ready to breach. Once the two were gone, Oliver turned to the rest of the team.

“While we wait, there are two things we have to work on. Firstly, we make sure they don’t hurt anyone. Secondly, we find out why they’re back.”

“Curtis and I can use the tele communicative device we got as well as that first tech piece we had to hack into their mainframe. But we’ll need Gideon to do that.” Felicity interjected.

“Ray?” Sara said, and the scientist nodded. He led Felicity out of the room, leaving the rest of the league.

“I guess that leaves the defending to us,” Sara sighed. And just as she said that the ground shook. She sighed again. “That’s our cue!” With that, they all ran out, rushing out of the building, to find the mastership hovering over the labs, firing at them.

“I don’t think we have to worry about other people getting hurt,” Mick growled, readying his gun.

“How are we going to do this without Supergirl or Flash?” Firestorm shouted.

“How do we get up there?” Thea inquired.

Before any answers or more questions could be voiced, a hologram of a Dominator appeared in front of them. Nevertheless, all weapons and arrows were pointed at it.

“Why are you back?” the Green Arrow growled.

“We came to warn you. You can either hand us back Barry Allen, or you will face the consequences.”

“We aren’t afraid of you,” Sara challenged.

“It is not us you should fear, for if you do not hand him over, we will leave your planet.”

“Well, leave then!” Oliver yelled.

The Dominator chuckled, echoing an ugly sound. “It is not us you should fear,” it repeated, “it is him. If we do not get him back, we will leave this planet at the Flash’s mercy.”

Everyone was slightly taken aback, but they did not let it show.

“Barry’s not gonna hurt anyone,” Oliver stated with confidence.

“And even if he does,” Sara added, “we’ll all be here to stop him.”

“That’s right, ugly,” Mick grunted, “now go.”

“As you wish,” The dominator chuckled once more, and before they knew it, the hologram was gone and the ship was leaving.

“That was… weird,” Jax said, as they all made their way back into the cortex. A few minutes later, a breach opened, Kara, Cisco, and two men coming through it.

“Oh!” the shorter one squealed, “that was awesome!” Then he noticed everyone in the room looking at him and his friend, “oh my – are you guys like superheroes? Metahumans, like Barry?”

“Not all of us,” Oliver replied, irritation clear on his face, “and as glad as we are that you guys made it, the Dominators are gone.”

“Wh – But – how?” Kara stuttered, confused.

The Earth 1 residents recalled the incident they had just had with the aliens, worry and confusion apparent on their faces.

“Well, uhm, I guess J’onn can just check on Barry?” Kara suggested.

“We haven’t been introduced,” the Martian said, “my name is J’onn J’onzz, I’m director of the Department of Extra-Normal Operations on our Earth.”

“And I’m agent Winn Schott,” Winn lifted his arm, “I also work there.”

“Oliver Queen,” the archer extended his arm to shake their hands. He was followed by the rest of their league as each member introduced themselves.

“Right, so J’onn is from Mars,” Kara announced.

“He looks pretty human to me,” Diggle spoke. J’onn looked at him as he transformed into his alien form. “Never mind,” Diggle said, his eyes wide.

“Where is Barry?” J’onn asked. Before Caitlin could point him to the med bay, Felicity, Ray, and Curtis came charging in.

“Guys we’ve got a problem,” Curtis’ voice trembled.

“Yeah, those alien guys messed up Barry’s mind pretty bad,” Felicity said then noticed the Martian man, “oh, uh, hi!”

“What do you mean?” Oliver questioned.

“We found out what they had planned for Barry. They actually wanted to send him back to Earth once they were done with him. They were planning to completely wipe out everything that’s good in him and plant nothing but violence so that he would wreak havoc.”

“But thankfully, you guys saved him before it got that far,” Curtis said, “however, they did manage to plant in some of those violent thoughts. They could start off as intrusive thoughts, but with what they’ve done to him, he will not feel better unless he acts on them.”

“How do we undo it?” Sara asked.

“We… aren’t exactly sure,” Felicity sighed.

“Maybe J’onn can help!” Caitlin suggested, “you can, right?”

“Where is he?” he repeated his earlier question. Once in the med bay, he put his hand on Barry’s forehead. What he saw, as small as it was, would probably haunt him forever.


End file.
